Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize