i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize