I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have aggressive nipples.
pray to the hookup gods
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