Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We need to rekindle our bromance
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????