He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
