I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...