Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms