i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
