Pregnant stripper...not hot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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