he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This toilet bowl is my home.
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