new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
