Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
