i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
