She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
