I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
