so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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