Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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