I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
