Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
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