Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
