I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
