The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
