just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
