my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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