His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
