...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
