its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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