Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize