I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
