we have officially lost it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
