Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
