It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
