In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
