She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
