Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
