You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
