Your mouth is God's brothel.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
