This gyro tastes like lonliness
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
