We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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