"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
