And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
