its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
