a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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