I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
