I just made out with a guy for $7.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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