my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
