there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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