the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
