Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
