Cold hands, warm shart.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How does it feel to date your dad?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
