so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
