last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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