Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
