I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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