Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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