The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
