She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize