you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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