guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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