I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
