We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
