If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
