I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
